i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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