i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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