he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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