i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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