Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
