He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
