member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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