I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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