This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
