I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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