are you so shy because you have an std?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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