I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
