That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
