your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize