We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
