heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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