your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
