I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
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