Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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