But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
