so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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