dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
