there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
