She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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