i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
