I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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