I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
just found out that she named her cat after me.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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