she looked like the before picture.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize