As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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