just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
