Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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