Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
