good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
