What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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