fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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