I hate all girls vehemently.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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