what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
i now understand why vodka
Randomize
