i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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