The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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