In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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