I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize