I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
