Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
There r osticjed everywhere
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
