I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
