He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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