we're blogging at a bar
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
