He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Are my feet made of real feet?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
