we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
