My boss' voice literally gives me gas
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
