Me. At least after what I've been through.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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