So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
