New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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