Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
