Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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