I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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